On being a mother… What is it about motherhood that changes everything? After waiting eight years to have our miracle, Peter, I was terrified I wouldn’t know what to do or be able to love a human being like a mother should. Really. I hated babysitting when I was growing up; the thought of slobber on my clothes, in my hair grossed me out – what was I doing?
Fast forward eight years of trying to have a child, a miscarriage of twins, and our miracle came into this world, a fighter from the first breath he took. It’s personal for him so I won’t go into everything he’s been through, but he is the light of my life. Below is a blog I wrote after his senior night year in high school. I hope you enjoy it. They grow up too fast and leave (and sometimes come back and that’s okay), but being a mom has been the greatest joy of my life (yes I love my husband!), but there is nothing like the bond of mother and child, and I have loved him since his first breath – how could I think I wouldn’t be able to love him?
Senior Night LaSalle High School 2006 – Memories
At the start of each school season I always reminisce about the coming year’s school seniors. I recall when they were freshman, and how young they looked and how scared and uncertain they seemed. As seniors, they are leaders standing tall, and I think how time flies. People always say “time flies” but do we actually contemplate the reality of it? Pete was a senior two years ago. This August he started his sophomore year of college-it can’t be! Pete was in the marching band during high school. His major is Music Education (you may not laugh-at least he is going to college) :).
We still support The Pride of La Salle Marching Band by attending football games and marching band competitions. This is the last year we’ll recognize most of the band/color guard members and it’s bittersweet. Life goes on; change is inevitable. Today I came across the poem I wrote to Pete on his Senior Night and started thinking about this year’s seniors and thought I would share the poem and a funny story with you.
I like to be different and so I didn’t want to write a letter; all the kids receive letters from their parents and I wanted this to be special. I knew Pete would be leaving for college the next year, and so I thought I would write a poem. He’ll take it with him, he’ll think how cool is this? This poem was not easy for me to write. I labored over this for days. Did I say days? Anyway, Senior Night came, we put our “gift” to our child into an envelope, handed it over to the band director, and he presented it to our child. Well, as a mother (maybe a father too), but as a mother you are usually sentimental and teary eyed and thinking how did they like the letter or poem? Did they appreciate it?
I kept watching Pete that night, wondering if he read the poem. I couldn’t tell because that night was about him and his friends; their night. I didn’t want to push but after two days Pete hadn’t mentioned anything about the poem. I had to know. Did he like it, did he receive it, why hadn’t he said, “Thanks mom. The poem meant so much to me.” So eventually I gathered my nerve, went up to Pete and casually asked him how he liked the poem and he said, “You know me mom, poems aren’t really my thing.” Kaboom! Crush! My heart fell to my toes!
Today I am able to laugh about it; I know one day the poem will mean something special to him, but at the time I felt like an idiot. (He really is a great kid). Live and learn and remember: TIME DOES FLY, LOVE COMES FROM WITHIN and YOU LOVE THEM NO MATTER WHAT:
PETE, MY SON, MY ONLY ONE
Pete, my son, my only one,
You came into my life
Little did I know I could love
A child as much as you, my wonderful son.
We knew you were special your first breath on the clock,
A fighter, a warrior, oh the strength you would need
The name we had chosen, Peter, the Rock
So appropriate, God knew, did we unknowingly take heed.
Pete, my son, my only one,
Things you’ve been through have made you strong.
Your dad, ALWAYS there helping you, ALWAYS taking his turn,
Laughter is the best medicine, I’m starting to learn.
Pete, my son, my only one,
Why did the years fly away?
Just yesterday it was play, have fun, and run.
Now it’s still have fun but in a different way.
Pete, my son, my only one,
How proud I am of you, I love you, I’ll miss you
But I’ll always be here
To guide you, to nag you, to love you, no matter where.
Pete, my son, my only one,
Your Guardian Angel will hover if you ask him to.
Take God with you in prayer in all you ever do.
Trust Him, Love Him, Thank Him for all you are able to do.
Pete, my son, my only one,
You came into my life
How much I so love you
Pete, my son, my wonderful son.
Leave a Reply